The Ultimate Thread: Your Favuorite Bible Quotes

[ricko]

:) :)

HI CHAPS,

I'll begin.. here are my favourties :cool:

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shall not commit adultery. But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28


But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commiteth adultery. Matthew 5:32 and then again in Mark 10:11-12

[coombz]

i've always found most of Marks Gospel to be a rattling good read :cool:

[ricko]

bloomin' heck! jesus never gave me the strength to read that fully.. you are blessed to be able to.

best regards old chap.. :)

[ricko]

Greetings again fellow FTBians! :up:

Here is another classic.. :) :)

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, and if ye do whatsoever I command you. John 15:13-14

[Midas]

This story deeply touched me when I first read it. I hope it'll be a light for some of you in these dark times we are in.

--

My Dear Father in Heaven.
* YES? - -
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
* But you called Me.
Called You? I didn't call You.
I'm praying... My Dear Father in Heaven...
* There, you did it again.- -
Did what?
* Called me. You said,
"My Dear Father in Heaven."
Here I am. What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it.
I was just, You know,
saying my prayers for the night.
I always say my prayers. It makes me feel good,
kind of like getting my duty done.
* Oh. All Right. Go on.
I'm thankful for my many blessings...
* Hold it. How thankful?
What?
* How thankful are you for your "Many blessings?"
I'm... well... I don't know. How should I know?
It's just part of the prayer. Everyone always said
that I should express my thanks.
* Oh well. You're welcome. Go ahead...
Go ahead?
* With the prayer.
Oh yeah. Let's see... bless the poor and the sick
and the needy and the afflicted...
* Do you really mean that?
Well, sure I mean it.
* What are you doing about it?
Doing? Who, me? Nothing. I guess.
I just think that it would be kind of nice if
You got control of things down here like
You have up there,
so people don't have to suffer so.
* Have I got control of you?
Well I go to church, I pay my tithing, I don't...
* That isn't what I asked you.
What about your temper?
You have a problem there,
and your friends and family suffer.
And then there's the way you spend
your money... all on yourself.
And how about the kinds of books you read?
Stop picking on me.
I'm just as good as some of the rest
of those I see every Sunday at church.
* Excuse Me. I thought you were praying for me
to bless the needy. If that is to happen,
I'll have to have help from the ones
who are praying for it...
like you.
All right. I guess that I have a few hang-ups,
now that You mention it.
I could probably mention some others.
* So could I.
Look, Father. I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than usual.
Bless the missionaries to be led to the doors
of the honest in heart.
* You mean people like Ralph?
Ralph?
* Yes, the guy around the corner.
"That" Ralph... but he smokes and drinks
and never goes to church.
* Have you ever looked in his heart lately?
Of course not. How can...
* I have. I looked.
And it's one of those honest hearts
you were just praying about.
O.K. then, get the missionaries over there.
Do you think I like having a
non-member for a neighbor?
* Aren't you supposed to be a missionary?
I thought I made that pretty clear.
Hey, wait a minute.
What is this? Criticize "me" day?
Here I am, doing my duty,
keeping your commandments to pray.
And all of a sudden you break in and start
reminding me of all my problems.
* Well, you called Me. And here I am.
Keep on praying. I'm interested in this next part.
You haven't changed the order around have you?
... Go on...
I don't want to.
* Why not?
I know what You'll say.
* Try Me and see.
Please forgive me of all my sins...
and help me to forgive others.
* What about Bill?
See. I knew it. I knew you'd bring him up. Listen Lord,
he told lies about me, and I got fired.
All my co-workers think I'm a first class creep,
and I didn't do anything.
I'm going to get even with him!
* But your prayers. What about your prayers?
I didn't mean it.
* Well, at least you're honest.
I guess you enjoy carrying that load
of bitterness around, don't you?
No, I don't.
But I'll feel better as soon as I get even.
* Do you want to know a secret?
What secret?
* You won't feel better. You'll feel worse.
Listen to me.
You forgive Bill and I'll forgive you.
But Lord, I can't forgive Bill.
* Then I cannot forgive you.
No matter what?
* No matter what.
But you're not through with your prayer yet.
Go on.
Oh all right...
please help me to control my feelings
and not yield to temptations.
* Good. Good. I'll do just that.
But you stop putting yourself
in all those places
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
* Quit hanging around the magazine racks
and spending so much time in front of the tube.
Some of that stuff is going to get to you
sooner or later.
You'll find yourself involved in
some terrible things before long...
and don't use me for an escape hatch either.
An escape hatch? I don't understand.
* Sure you do. You've done it lots of times --
you find yourself in a crisis situation,
then you come running to me.
"Lord, help me out of this mess
and I promise I'll never do it again."
It's amazing how the quality and intensity
of your prayers improve when you are in trouble.
Do you remember some of those bargains
you tried to make with me?
Well I don't think... Oh... yeah...
like the time Mom's visiting teacher
saw me coming out of that movie about...
Oh brother...
* Do you remember your prayer. I do.
"Oh God. Don't let her tell
my mother where I've been.
I promise I'll go to nothing but
"G" rated movies from now on.
She didn't tell your mother, but you
didn't keep your promise. Did you?
No Lord, I didn't. I'm sorry.
* So am I. Go ahead and finish your prayer.
Wait a minute. I want to ask you a question.
Do you always listen to my prayers?
* Every word. Every time.
Then how come you never talked back to me before?
* How many chances have you given me?
There's not enough time between your "Amens"
and your head hitting the pillow
for me to draw a breath.
How am I supposed to give an answer?
You could, if you really wanted to.
* No. I could if *you* really wanted Me to.
Child, I always want to.
Father, I am sorry. Will you forgive me?
* I already have.
And thanks for letting me interrupt.
I get lonely to talk to you sometimes.
Goodnight. I love you.
Good night, and I love You too.

[ricko]

LOL! I can see how it touched you.. it touched me on the funny bones.. :) I love a good bit of biblical humour.. top stuff!

[Midas]

I'm glad you liked that, it always makes me feel warm inside whenever I can help out a fellow believer.

This is the ABC of life, may it enrich your life, in the same way as it enriched mine.

Account for you life and use your time wisely.
Be salt and light on this earth.
Control your tongue,
guard what you watch,
and cut out worry.
Deal fairly and honestly with other people.
Exercise regularly,
eat what is wholesome,
and drink lots of water.
Forgive others,
admit when wrong,
and say I’m sorry.
Give cheerfully, grow spiritually,
and get enough sleep.
Hope always, help those in need,
and have laughter in your life
Imitate the best
and maintain your integrity.
Judge generously
and avoid criticizing others.
Know God, attend Church, pray,
and read your Bible daily.
Love God, your spouse,
family and your neighbor.
Make friends, be gentle,
kind, and courteous.
Never give up trying
and persevere during trials
Often manage your finances wisely
and save something.
Play occasionally
and take time daily
to stop and smell the roses.
Quote your Bible,
quickly confess your sins,
and be quick to listen.
Read quality books
and increase your knowledge.
Serve others, set goals,
speak the truth and smile.
Think carefully
about the consequences of using drugs.
Use discretion and discernment skills.
Vengeance is wrong, so walk away
and repay no one evil for evil.
Watch your steps and
take time for important decisions.
X-ray yourself and
know your strengths and weaknesses.
Yield to wise counsel and God’s will.
Zealously live your life one day at a time.

[Mikee Merge n C]

Jesus Christ! [!!:)]

That was some looooooooooooong shit Midas you nutter! :)
Hehehe!

[coombz]

praise the lord! its the dawn of a new day!

[O-DoG]

:ban: omg im jewish!

[coombz]

bump for the Holy Trinity

[Ov3RKiLL]

will read it later

funny no doubt ;)

[RS^DA]

priase be upon ye all :f

[coombz]

Our Father, who art in heaven....

[coombz]

-- Genesis IV:9
How think ye? If a man have
an hundred sheep, and one of
them be gone astray, doth he not
leave the ninety and nine, and goeth
into the mountains, and seeketh
that which is gone astray?

[Mikee Merge n C]

Looks like I need to *read* the bible rather than using it as Rizla.

[O-DoG]

this TRULY is the ultimate thread :]

[Lady_Dayaster]

dont want 2 affend any1 but we got given bibles and skool but we lobbed them from the double decker windows on people riding bikes...

[RS^DA]

Genesis 38
9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother.


psalm 1

1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.


I hope you find as much inspiration from these passages as I do :heart:

[Lady_Dayaster]

awww at least i no were the word wicked came from.

[Ov3RKiLL]

yea i know what your sayin DA, nuff respect.. im findin it funny :D

see you real soonio mate!

oh my gosh.. THE WEEKENDER!!!!!!!

[O-DoG]

Our father, who art in heaven, breakbeat be thy name

[Midas]

[18:38:18] <@Barrytale>: omg?
[18:38:30] <@Barrytale>: we got bibles too
[18:38:33] <@Barrytale>: yesterday
[18:38:34] <@Barrytale>: wtf?
[18:39:03] (@Midas): how did you feel when you read them?
[18:39:12] <@Barrytale>: we usualy burn them
[18:39:26] (@Midas): that's just horrible
[18:39:34] <@Barrytale>: these faggot jehavo vitnesses come
[18:39:38] <@Barrytale>: and hand them out
[18:39:55] <@Barrytale>: one girl in my class tried to roll a joint from a page :D
[18:40:15] <@Barrytale>: for who?
[18:40:16] <@Barrytale>: :(
[18:40:24] (@Midas): for our mighty father in heaven
[18:40:35] <@Barrytale>: dont believe in that bs :F
[18:40:55] (@Midas): you may not believe in him
[18:40:58] (@Midas): but he believes in you
[18:41:24] <@Barrytale>: thats nice

[18:41:41] (@Midas): tani, how do you feel when you read the bible?
[18:41:59] <@tani>: i dont mr midas :{{
[18:42:04] (@Midas): why not?
[18:42:14] <@tani>: why would i ;O
[18:42:17] <@tani>: WJTY WHY WHY
[18:42:50] (@Midas): the world would be a better place if everyone read the bible
[18:43:07] <@tani>: stfu
[18:43:08] <@tani>: mr canadian :<


Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power;
and the glory, for ever.

Amen.

[Lady_Dayaster]

so what really did happen 2 Noahs ark? this happened before the dinosaurs or after? and Johna and the whale? he real lit a bonfire in its stomach and lived to tell the tale??

and if God made us who made God?