Jay Stonerz MC
27th October 2003, 05:49 PM
to whomever recieves this email:
Hello,
My name is Tonya . I used to be on the
"ravetrash" website, hang-out at the 8 Up club, and I
was in the rave/party scene since 2000.
I used to have this massive void, this emptiness
inside that consumed me. I used to try to fill this
void with drugs,( u can go down the list...), men,
alcohol...anything that I could, just to try to fill
that emptiness inside. I had a serious drug problem,(and I used to work in "shipping and receiving")
had thought I was doing better, because I wasn't
eating pills so often.(well I was doing other stuff in
betweeen) but I had got it in my head that if I waited
until my tolerence got low,a couple months apart, then
I could just eat a 10 pack and get really messed
up.This was my way of keeping it under control I
guess, I thought I was doing better.(but the tweak was getting to me and I almost lost my job.) But I couldn't
stop. Everyone thought I was doing good. But inside I
wasn't doing good at all. Inside I was depressed,
confused,life was meaningless, and so empty...I had
started drinking southern comfort and pepsi about
everyday,going from one thing to the next...almost
lost my job... and I was just so lost....so very empty
and lost.
And then in June 2003,I cried out to God asking for guidence, wanted to know what this life was for..? I excepted Jesus Christ as my
savior. I don't want to say I found God, because He's
always been there, but I guess I finally quit running
from Him. I just opened my heart and let Him into my
life. Oh thank you Jesus! He has done so much for me.
A couple months ago(july) I had prayed for my
addictions to go away and the next day I quit smoking,
along with everything else, I didn't have any
cravings, or withdrawls.(" I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHICH STRENGTHENENTH ME." )thanks to Jesus, He's made me a new person, now want to dedicate my life to spreading the word.
To saving the lost.You don't have to live like I did,
"the truth will set you free" Its just I lived the
scene, I want to go back and reverse spreading the bad
stuff, Yeah I used to sell bad things, but now I have
something that isn't just a quick fix, Oh its so
wonderful!Jesus is so good to me!If He can do His
works through me..., and forgive me for the things I
used to do....oh when you are ready, He's waiting on
you...to just curl up in His arms and give it all to
Him. For once in my life I am at peace, I am filled,I
am only "hungry for Jesus!" ("Jesus is eternally
refreshing...never thirst again" john 4:14)
I don't know what to say, I know that I didn't want to
hear it before, it made me feel guilty, and when I
opened up my heart to Him and went to church for the
first time by choice, it was on my own, by my own free
will..no one preached to me.. you have to be ready,
I'm just so greatful He saved me before I killed
myself, or ended up in prison like so many of my old friends. .Well I hope that you have got something out of this, I just know that I want to let everyone know what a
difference Jesus has made in my life.If youre just not
ready yet, know that He's always there,waiting for you
to let Him in. If anyone would like to talk or email
me please email me at goddessraver22@cs.com my aim name is tonya23cincy
I hope to hear from you.
God Bless You All,
Tonya
__________________________________
Fucking god squad!
Hello,
My name is Tonya . I used to be on the
"ravetrash" website, hang-out at the 8 Up club, and I
was in the rave/party scene since 2000.
I used to have this massive void, this emptiness
inside that consumed me. I used to try to fill this
void with drugs,( u can go down the list...), men,
alcohol...anything that I could, just to try to fill
that emptiness inside. I had a serious drug problem,(and I used to work in "shipping and receiving")
had thought I was doing better, because I wasn't
eating pills so often.(well I was doing other stuff in
betweeen) but I had got it in my head that if I waited
until my tolerence got low,a couple months apart, then
I could just eat a 10 pack and get really messed
up.This was my way of keeping it under control I
guess, I thought I was doing better.(but the tweak was getting to me and I almost lost my job.) But I couldn't
stop. Everyone thought I was doing good. But inside I
wasn't doing good at all. Inside I was depressed,
confused,life was meaningless, and so empty...I had
started drinking southern comfort and pepsi about
everyday,going from one thing to the next...almost
lost my job... and I was just so lost....so very empty
and lost.
And then in June 2003,I cried out to God asking for guidence, wanted to know what this life was for..? I excepted Jesus Christ as my
savior. I don't want to say I found God, because He's
always been there, but I guess I finally quit running
from Him. I just opened my heart and let Him into my
life. Oh thank you Jesus! He has done so much for me.
A couple months ago(july) I had prayed for my
addictions to go away and the next day I quit smoking,
along with everything else, I didn't have any
cravings, or withdrawls.(" I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHICH STRENGTHENENTH ME." )thanks to Jesus, He's made me a new person, now want to dedicate my life to spreading the word.
To saving the lost.You don't have to live like I did,
"the truth will set you free" Its just I lived the
scene, I want to go back and reverse spreading the bad
stuff, Yeah I used to sell bad things, but now I have
something that isn't just a quick fix, Oh its so
wonderful!Jesus is so good to me!If He can do His
works through me..., and forgive me for the things I
used to do....oh when you are ready, He's waiting on
you...to just curl up in His arms and give it all to
Him. For once in my life I am at peace, I am filled,I
am only "hungry for Jesus!" ("Jesus is eternally
refreshing...never thirst again" john 4:14)
I don't know what to say, I know that I didn't want to
hear it before, it made me feel guilty, and when I
opened up my heart to Him and went to church for the
first time by choice, it was on my own, by my own free
will..no one preached to me.. you have to be ready,
I'm just so greatful He saved me before I killed
myself, or ended up in prison like so many of my old friends. .Well I hope that you have got something out of this, I just know that I want to let everyone know what a
difference Jesus has made in my life.If youre just not
ready yet, know that He's always there,waiting for you
to let Him in. If anyone would like to talk or email
me please email me at goddessraver22@cs.com my aim name is tonya23cincy
I hope to hear from you.
God Bless You All,
Tonya
__________________________________
Fucking god squad!