Joke of the day

[rogue]

What's the difference between Jack Tweedy and the England cricket team?




















Jack Tweedy is guaranteed to have the ashes on his mantlepiece this summer.


Blaow! :santadancingclub:

[O-DoG]

i once went out with a dolphin, we just clicked

[rogue]

Jade Goody's new film is soon to be released....




- One wedding, 4 weeks and a funeral.

[MissSmalls]

Got sent these earlier, shocking! :new_police:

'Good news following the shootings in Germany there will be 16 free sunbeds this summer'

'What is worse than wife beating?
Not having my dinner ready when I get home'

'I walked up to a bird down the pub last night and said, "Get your coat, luv".
She said, "Ooh, have I pulled?"
I said, "Nah, you're too ugly for in here".

Went into Blockbusters earlier:
"I asked for Slumdog Millionaire, and all i see on the screen is Jade Goody"
"Sorry, my bad" said the shopkeeper "I thought you asked for SomeDog WithNoHair"

[O-DoG]

:[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

[rogue]

What do you call Jade Goody in a Wedding Dress?


A shuttleock.

[rogue]

Jade Goody looked great on her wedding day, not a hair out of place.

[Mr Lager]

Who is Jack Tweedy?

[rogue]

Who is Jack Tweedy?


Jade Goody's new husband

[scheme]

i found out yesterday that wanking into a beano isn't comic relief. :(

[O-DoG]

Dear Tech Support, I need your computer advice as a friend is having trouble with his system.

Last year he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which he’d used for years without trouble.

However, apparently there are conflicts between these two systems, the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend with the sound turned off, but to make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as; Lads Night Out 3.1,Golf 2 and Playboy 6.0.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better, Girlfriend 3.0 has many Bugs and left a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually he tried installing Girlfriend 2.1 as well as Girlfriend 1.0 only to discover when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware. Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fiancee. 1.0 only to discover to his dismay that this system requires rapid upgrading to Wife 1.0. However, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2000.

But imagine my friends disappointment on discovering that not only can Wife 1.0 be unstable and costly to maintain, but also that any mistakes he makes are automatically stored in Wife 1.0 Hardrive and can not be deleted. They then re-surface months later .

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic InterDiary Explorer and E-mail Porn Filter, and automatically runs UltraSTROP and WINGE.zip. No option on the Help menu seems to work, leaving him to try and guess the fault himself.

The system footprint needs updating regularly requiring Shoeshop browserPro for new attachments - Hairstyle express needs to be reinstalled every week. It also refused some of the new Games and attachments he wanted to try, stating they are an Illegal operation.

When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to Car 1.0 it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can’t be turned off. Recently he’s been tempted to try Mistress Millennium add-on, but we have heard there could be problems.

If wife 1.0 detects the presence of mistress 2000, it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.

Is this a common problem?