EXACTLY what to say to police after being pulled for speedin

[FINK]

While I was driving down the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.


The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."


To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."


Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."



Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless.

[scheme]

LULzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[FINK]

LULzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You're about 6 foot ain't ya?

[scheme]

you forgot the £60 charge for breach of section 5 of the public order act.
edit also the £145 speeding tickets leads me to believe that "you" were doing a lot more than the actual speed limit. which would have met more than the mandatory 3 points on "your" licence. which wwas not included in the court hearing, which also leads me to believe that "you" were doing 100, ergo, instant ban as well.

therefore not funny.

[Dj_Greencode]

i read it, can't say i found it that lulz.

[FINK]

you forgot the £60 charge for breach of section 5 of the public order act.
edit also the £145 speeding tickets leads me to believe that "you" were doing a lot more than the actual speed limit. which would have met more than the mandatory 3 points on "your" licence. which wwas not included in the court hearing, which also leads me to believe that "you" were doing 100, ergo, instant ban as well.

therefore not funny.

Er, this is a joke, it actually never happened.

Therefore OWNED

Oh, and, you tit :care:

[scheme]

lollercopter. that was easy. your reply was funnier than the "joke"

[Dj_Greencode]

lollercopter.

:eeklaugh:

[FINK]

lollercopter. that was easy. your reply was funnier than the "joke"

Great come back, did you fetch that one out of your I.Q handbook?

[scheme]

jesus wept. clueless.

you're boring me now. bye.

[FINK]

jesus wept. clueless.

you're boring me now. bye.

au revoir

[rogue]

fight fight fight

[O-DoG]

fink and scheme will never be o-dog and bondy

worthless hacks